• Canister X Movie Review #118: Day of the Dead (2008)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Day of the Dead (2008)
    Written by Jeffrey Reddick
    Directed by Steve Miner
    Runtime 86 min.
    3 out of 5

    A strange flu outbreak.

    Nose bleeds.

    Death.

    Rebirth . . . in rage.

    No one knows how anyone got sick . . . at least, no one is telling us. The US Army is all over it, quarantining Leadville, Colorado. Sarah Bowman (Mena Suvari) is serving her country and is part of the troops bordering the town.

    Except they can’t contain the rage-filled maniacs that have returned from the dead after being killed by the flu.

    Going back for her mother (Linda Marlowe), she runs into her brother, Trevor (Michael Welch), and tries and save their mother’s life. Unfortunately, the mom falls victim to the virus and Sarah and her brother—along with his girlfriend/female interest, Nina (AnnaLynne McCord), and a couple of Army Joes—try and flee from the ever-escalating attack of flesh-hungry zombies that stop at nothing to satisfy their gut-munching desires.

    Adding a strange twist to things, one of the army chaps, Bud Crain (Stark Sands), gets infected and later transforms into an angry zombie as well, but Sarah keeps him along for the ride, feeling sorry for him. Besides, he seems harmless enough and hasn’t attacked them.

    When their hope of escape falls through, Sarah and the others must make their last stand against the undead before they are ripped to pieces.

    Can they survive this Day of the Dead?

    The first thing that comes to mind about this movie is that it’s hardcore. The zombies in this flick aren’t just your average gray-skinned, baggy-eyed monsters. The person infected dies then are suddenly transformed into pale-skinned, decayed-fleshed, white-eyed beasties loaded with so much rage that hate and hunger emanates from them before they even move in for the kill. Speaking of which, they move so fast you’d think they’re part vampire or something. Crazy speed with these guys and, for me, those quick, jerky movements of the undead creep me out every time.

    The story’s simple: an outbreak, people turn into zombies, folks run for their lives. Hey, standard zombie fare, and that’s part of the fun. I also liked having a female in the lead and it was neat to see Mena Suvari—who usually plays the fun, get-along girl—take charge and blast the heads off these creatures.

    I was totally into this flick. The suspense was building. Every time a zombie jumped out I was jumping on my couch. All good.

    Then Bud died, came back—and was nice? This bit took me out of the movie and it’s why I’m giving this a 3 out of 5 instead of a 4 like I was going to. It just totally ruined it for me, especially when Sarah and friends were riding with him in the Humvee and, after a short debate about why this zombie was riding with them, they all seemed pretty cool with it.

    Bud’s bit at the end was also predictable, but, hey, what’re you gonna do?

    I did like how vulnerable these zombies were to fire and how quickly the flames destroyed them.

    The ending director Steve Miner chose for this flick was the better of the two as the alternate ending on the DVD, though very similar, wasn’t as strong and was a bit hokey. Having Salazar (Nick Cannon) die was the best choice.

    If you like your zombie flicks raunchy, quick and gory, you’ll love this Day of the Dead remake. If you’re one of those folks who are sticky about story plausibility—even in the realm of zombie movies—then this probably won’t be up your alley.

    Your call.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #117: G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra (2009)
    Written by Stuart Beattie, David Elliot, Paul Lovett
    Directed by Stephen Sommers
    Runtime 118 min.
    4 out of 5

    When military partners Duke (Channing Tatum) and Ripcord (Marlon Wayans) get involved in the super covert ultra team G.I. Joe thanks to botching up supervising the delivery of nano-mite war-heads on behalf of the US Army, they join the team to try and track the war-heads down before they’re unleashed on the world. To make things even more difficult for Duke, his ex-girlfriend, Anastasia “Ana” DeCobray (Sienna Miller), also the “Baroness,” is part of the team responsible for stealing the nano-mite war-heads, and he is torn between trying to figure out what happened to her and also doing the right thing not just for his country, but for the whole world.

    Yet Duke and Ana aren’t the only ones with a past. Opposing ninja warriors Snake Eyes (Ray Park) and Storm Shadow (Byung-hun Lee) go back to when they were children and trained under the same sensei. It wasn’t until a tragic event in their youth drove the two apart, only to meet now, years later, and settle their conflict once and for all.

    With only the safety of the world resting in the hands of the best of the best of the best, team G.I. Joe has their work cut out for them as they try to save the world from the rising C.O.B.R.A.

    This movie is lightning. Seriously. Right from the first minute straight through to the last this sucker moves at breakneck speed with non-stop action, fireballs, lasers, bullets, super-powered armor, kung-fu, car chases, car crashes, aerial battles and a whole ton more.

    It’s been awhile since I’ve seen a movie where I felt like I was moving at the speed of light and G.I. Joe delivers that in spades. I went in expecting an action movie. I got it. I went in expecting a military movie. I didn’t get that but instead got something between the Avengers, Desert Storm and James Bond. It didn’t feel like an army movie and for that I was thankful because, though I like history and military fiction, I have a hard time watching army movies. Don’t know why. Just can’t get into them. Also, all that olive green is nauseating after a while. Thank goodness that stupid color is absent in G.I. Joe. They wear black, thank you very much.

    The overall plot was cool. The problem was the pace. It was just way too fast. However, I was pleasantly surprised by the flashback sequences throughout the movie and even the fact the movie starts off in 1641 instead of the present day. More specifically, I was impressed the flashback sequences didn’t happen to just one character, but to several, each segment adding to that character’s history and giving us something more than a man or woman with an agenda. We actually get to understand their motivations because we get to be there with them and see how they came to be what they came to be.

    There was something else I had a hard time buying, but I’ll leave it there because I don’t want to spoil anything for those who haven’t seen it yet.

    In the end, this film delivered a lot and truly embodied the idea of “rise of the cobra.” There was origins galore, the ones not mentioned above being Destro and the Doctor. There will no doubt be a sequel because there’s obviously way more story to tell.

    Rating this film was tough because there’s no way to be critical of it without coming off unfair. I mean, really, the effects were 5 out of 5. No challenge there. The explosions alone were awesome never mind the Eiffel Tower falling, the nano-mite green mist effect, those blue electro pulses—craziness. The story? Well . . . how’s 3 sound? Yeah? Okay. Tell you what: I’ll meet you halfway and we’ll settle on 4. Cool? Cool.

    Oh and one more thing . . .

    Go Joe!


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  • Canister X Movie Review #116: Transformers (2007)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Transformers (2007)
    Written by Roberto Orci and Alex Kurtzman
    Directed by Michael Bay
    Runtime 144 min.
    4 out of 5

    It is called the All Spark. Powerful. Incredible. Able to create robotic life and destroy it just as quickly.

    On Cybertron, a planet far, far away, a war arose when a robot named Megatron, leader of the Decepticons, wanted the power of the All Spark for himself. Optimus Prime and his band of Autobots rose up against him and their battle destroyed their homeworld, sending the cube-shaped All Spark into space.

    Lost.

    The Autobots and Decepticons scoured the galaxy looking for it, knowing that whoever found it first would be the victor and would decide the fate of not just one world, but the universe.

    The All Spark found its way to Earth, but not before Megatron tracked it there. It landed in the Arctic, and Megatron was frozen there until found later on by Captain Witwicky, explorer.

    Decades later, his grandson, Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf), needs a car and after visiting a used-car dealer ends up coming home with an old Chevy Camaro. Little does he know the car is more than meets the eye and lurking beneath its yellow shell is an Autobot named Bumblebee. It’s not long ’til Sam finds out and is thrust into a robotic world where two teams of giant robots compete to find the All Spark.

    Joining Sam is his high school crush, Mikaela Banes (Megan Fox), whom reluctantly is dragged on this journey with him but soon finds herself getting interested in this guy who she barely knew existed.

    It’s robot vs robot in this giant epic of good vs evil, with fireballs, bullets and vehicles that are more than meets the eye.

    What can I say? When I heard they were taking the Transformers from my childhood and lifting them from the cartoon to “real life,” I was ecstatic. I was also concerned because I knew it’d take a crazy amount of CGI to make it happen, and not just any CGI either—good CGI. The last thing I wanted was for a bunch of cartoony robots with rubbery parts dominating the screen.

    Boy, was I shocked when I saw Bumblebee transform and tower over all, shining his spotlight into the sky, or when Optimus Prime showed up and that glorious digital transformation sound roared and he stood proud, huge and detailed.

    This stuff was real, and it looked like the makers of this movie actually made real Autobots and Decepticons to make it happen.

    Good times.

    Storywise, yeah, I liked it. The alien invasion thing worked. Very well done. Same with the notion that, unlike the cartoons (from what I recall), the Autobots had a vow of secrecy to keep themselves hidden from the humans while they searched for the All Spark.

    Shia LaBeouf as Sam Witwicky was funny, same with Kevin Dunn as his father.

    The story also bodes well for a sequel, which has now come and gone, with more stories in the works. If you’re going to go epic, like Transformers did, you’re going to need more than one. Last I heard, they’re doing 5 or 6 of these things. Me? I’m all for it. I go into these things expecting a good time and not some life-altering film where, years later, I look back and see it as a turning point for me. Transformers is just that: a good time, and one that tickled my inner fanboy.

    More than meets the eye? You betchya!


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  • Canister X Movie Review #115: Bob the Builder – New to the Crew (2007)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Bob the Builder – New to the Crew (2007)
    Runtime 45 mins.
    5 out of 5

    I gotta hand it to the folks who make these shows. First, it’s stop-motion animation, which is a pain to do (believe me, I’ve done it). Two, you got to tell a decent story in a short amount of time without it coming off as goofy.

    Well, guess what? This Bob the Builder installment nailed it and you get a few great stories out of the deal as well.

    However, I do have to admit Sumsy was a little strange, her shouting random numbers and all, but other than that, this volume is an absolute blast. I loved it. My two-year-old loved it. My wife loved it.

    Now I can’t get that theme song out of my head.

    Recommended.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #114: Bob the Builder – Muck’s Favorite Adventures (2008)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Bob the Builder – Muck’s Favorite Adventures (2008)
    Runtime 35 min.
    5 out of 5

    Well, we all got to start somewhere, right? This was my first Bob the Builder DVD. Well, not mine, but my two-year-old’s. But it still felt like mine because it dominated our television from morning ’til night, my kid constantly asking, “Watch Bob? Watch Bob?” ’til I put it on for him.

    High morals, fun jokes, problems only an experienced builder like Bob can fix—What more can anyone ask?

    But the biggest joy was watching my kid smile and raise his arms every time the “Bob the Builder” theme song played.

    That’s what made this DVD worth it.

    That’s what will make it worth it for you, too.

    Can we fix it? Yes we can!


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  • Canister X Movie Review #113: Undead (2003)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs
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    Undead (2003)
    Written by The Spierig Brothers
    Directed by The Spierig Brothers
    Runtime 97 min.
    4 out of 5

    After having lost everything, Rene (played by Felicity Mason) tries to leave her hometown of Berkeley but is unable to get out when the town is struck with a meteor shower. Instead of leaving giant craters and demolished buildings in their wake, these meteors leave something else: an infection that transforms humans into zombies.

    The town now overrun with the undead, Rene barely survives and meets up with Marion (played by Mungo McKay), the town nut who claimed he was abducted by aliens a long time before. Soon joined by others, the group of survivors find temporary solace in Marion’s cabin before the dead come a’knockin’ and force their way in.

    Blood and guts ensue as this band of not-so-merry-men try and fight their way through throngs of the undead and leave town.

    They almost make it, too, if not for that giant, spike-laden wall bordering the town, keeping everyone inside.

    This flick starts off as your run-of-the-mill zombie movie. Nothing wrong with that. Not at all. The blood, the guts, the guns—ah, yes, everything that makes up a good zombie flick. Even Marion’s Matrix-like fighting style works well in the context of the story (though when that style was first introduced, I had a hard time buying it but quickly got used to it).

    What separates this zombie flick from all others I’ve seen is the twist it takes when we find out these aren’t your standard zombies, but instead the product of “something beyond,” namely intergalactic stuff. Toss in a few aliens and you got yourself a unique zombie film that pays more homage to the zombie clichés than actually follows them like a rulebook.

    This is an independent film and I only point that out because it being indie really added to the gritty feel of the whole thing, enhancing the movie. This didn’t carry that too-smooth-yet-too-cheap look that B-movies have. Even the directors’ love for the genre really shone through in this and the cast did a fantastic job.

    I can understand now why this movie got the cult following it did.

    If you dig good solid zombie flicks, check this one out.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #112: I Am Legend (2007)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    I Am Legend (2007)
    Written by Mark Protosevich, Akiva Goldsman
    Directed by Francis Lawrence
    Runtime 101 min.
    4 out of 5

    Based on the book by Richard Matheson, I Am Legend is the story of Robert Neville (Will Smith), sole survivor of a plague that, originally, was supposed to be a miracle cure for cancer three years before. Instead, most of the world died at the hands of the plague. Others mutated into bloodthirsty vampiric creatures; only a small percentage of humankind remained immune to the disease.

    All alone in New York, virologist Neville tries to find a cure and “fix” the problem that stole the lives of everyone he knew and everyone he loved, while also trying to survive in a city infested with the infected and ferocious monsters.

    Straight from the start you know you’re in for a ride.

    An empty city, overgrown and broken down.

    A lone guy speeding through the streets in a fancy car, weapon at his side.

    Animals prowling the streets, free of their cages.

    The lock up.

    The screams.

    The howls.

    Yeah, good stuff.

    The intense feeling of atmosphere was what drew me into this flick. Immediately isolation sets in right from the first frame as we see Neville trying to maintain a normal life in a dead city (renting movies, talking to mannequins, keeping a routine), his eyes washed with pain yet underscored with determination to keep going. This is a one-man show and I haven’t seen it done so well since Cast Away (one of my favorite movies) years and years ago.

    No complaints about Will Smith here and he’s done a good job over his career to make you forget about the loud-mouthed homeboy he played in Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Plus, did you see the guy in this film? He’s ripped! Shredded. But, I guess, you’d have to be if you lived a world where vampire-zombie-human things prowled the streets and your life could be in jeopardy at the drop of a hat if you weren’t too careful.

    Which brings me to the monsters in question. Overall, well done. Creepy skin, no hair, loud growls, amazing agility and intensely vicious. Yeah, killer. Obviously they were CGI so they did look a tad rubbery and there were a few moments where it felt I was looking at a cartoon. Thankfully, those moments happened so fast and the action was so intense that I quickly forgot my quibble and moved on.

    My only thing was the ending. Now, I never read the book so I can’t compare, but it ended too abruptly and really lost its post-apocalyptic feel in the last five minutes or so. Sort of a Disney ending, which didn’t fit in with what was a gloomy story up until that point.

    Regardless, if someone asked me what I thought of this film, I’d tell them to go see it.

    It’s that good.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #111: Fido (2006)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Fido (2006)
    Written by Robert Chomiak, Andrew Currie and Dennis Heaton
    Directed by Andrew Currie
    Runtime 93 min.
    5 out of 5

    Every so often a movie comes along in a particular genre and does things “outside the norm.”

    Fido is such a movie.

    Yes, it’s about zombies. Yes, it’s about gut-munching. Yes, it’s about survival in a post-apocalyptic world.

    But that’s where the similarities end compared to other end-of-the-world zombie flicks.

    This movie is more like a cross between Pleasantville and Night of the Living Dead, with a little bit of humor thrown in there as well.

    After a zombie epidemic took over most of the world, a lone scientist invented a collar to control the undead and, through the ventures of the company Zomcom, was able to transform these mindless and hungry monsters into humanity’s slaves, turning them into butlers, house aids and gardeners.

    Enter the Robinson family, the only family in the ’50s without a zombie. However, things change when the people-pleasing mom, Helen Robinson (Carrie-Anne Moss), gets Fido, a lovable zombie with life and warmth.

    Fido quickly becomes best friends with Timmy, Helen’s son, but one day when the collar goes on the fritz and Fido eats the neighbor, everything changes, a cover-up ensues and it’s up to the Robinson family to hide Fido from those who would want to take him away and kill him (which is something that Daddy Robinson would love to see).

    This isn’t your standard zombie movie. Far from it. It has heart, and though a comedy, it’s not slapstick or silly. Just regular funny moments. Billy Connolly as Fido is charming, lovable, fun. You genuinely care for the poor dead guy. You smile with joy when he’s happy. Your heart goes out to him when he’s sad. You even side with him when he gets mad and takes out his uncontrollable hunger on unsuspecting victims.

    The story is original. The dialogue is great. The cast couldn’t be better.

    New spins on genres are something I’ve always been into. Though classic takes on things have their place, every time something new comes along it’s like a breath of fresh air and Fido is definitely that.

    Even hardcore zombie lovers who need a dose of shambling, rotting corpses and loads of blood will enjoy this film as there are “classic zombie moments” in it as well.

    This DVD also contains director Andrew Currie’s extremely poignant short film, Night of the Living, about the cause-and-effect of alcohol in the family but with a zombie twist.

    Very recommended.


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  • What I’m Working On

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

    Ever since the Situation that occurred at the beginning of 2014, I’ve had to re-approach how I create and do business. A big part of it is simply keeping things manageable so another Issue doesn’t occur.

    That said, I’ve been taking the checklist approach these days and as a result have been getting things done.

    Here’s what’s in my immediate future:

    – The Canister X Transmission: Year One (complete – released August 8, 2015)

    – The Dance of Mervo and Father Clown (complete – released August 15, 2015 to newsletter subscribers; released to general public this coming week)

    – Secret film project with IMDB credit (in process for this coming week)

    – Zomtropolis (nearing completion; aiming for mid-October release or sooner)

    – Axiom-man: Rumblings (mentally forged; to be written soon for mid-October release)

    – Short story commission (mentally formulated; to be completed before end of September)

    – Possible Axiom-man short story commission (mentally formulated; to be completed before end of September)

    – Move review website updates (another few weeks left of regular content)

    – Book review website updates (to be added once all movie reviews posted)

    There are other things percolating in the background, but the above are the priority with Comic Con coming up at the end of October.

    To keep up with my antics, follow me via the social media links on the right. For the really good stuff, sign up for my weekly newsletter.

    Enjoy the rest of your weekend.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #110: Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)
    Written by Jack Perez (as Ace Hannah)
    Directed by Jack Perez (as Ace Hannah)
    Runtime 88 min.
    3 out of 5

    Watched this thing last night.

    Okay, let’s see . . .

    Cool premise. I mean, really, a big shark versus a massive octopus? That just reeks cool.

    The story was more or less solid. Some parts were predictable, especially the “how to get rid of them” part.

    The acting . . . well, aside from Deborah Gibson, who I thought was the most believable in terms of how she presented her character (except when she screwed around with Vic Chao, which seemed really out of the blue), needed lots of work. Seemed forced in a lot of ways, but this is a B-movie we’re talking about so I was willing to not nitpick the acting because I just wanted to see shark vs octopus action.

    The special FX were okay, a 6 or so on a scale of 1-10. Some stuff looked super fake. Others, namely the underwater sequences, looked real. My only issue with the underwater stuff was that you lost all sense of scale because there was nothing to compare these guys to (as compared to when the shark took a huge bite out of the Golden Gate Bridge). However, you did get your sense of scale when the submarines tried to take the shark on.

    The shark vs octopus fight was pretty good. How often do you see a giant octopus wrap its tentacles around a shark’s entire body? I just wish, though, there was the budget to drag it out because the fight was kind of short-lived and was very simple in terms of the “fight moves” from each creature. Likewise, other shots of the creatures throughout the movie were just a glimpse here and there.

    On a fun scale, this gets an 7 out of 10, but my official rating is a 5. I think there was better acting in Transmorphers, and, well, guess I am nitpicking a little.


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