• Canister X Movie Review #129: In Hell (2003)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    In Hell (2003)
    Written by Eric James Virgets and Jorge Alvarez
    Directed by Ringo Lam
    Runtime 98 min.
    4 out of 5

    Kyle’s (Jean Claude Van Damme) wife is murdered and, though the culprit is caught, when the case goes to trial, there’s not enough evidence to convict him. Taking matters into his own hands, Kyle kills the man himself right after and is sentenced to life in Krava prison in Russia. Once there, Kyle discovers the crooked warden hosts fighting battles on the grounds and bets with other wardens who bring fighters in from other prisons.

    At first content to fight, Kyle makes a name for himself as someone not be messed with, but when a close friend is killed, he decides to lower his hands and fight no longer. Following his example, the other inmates no longer fight as well, and the entire order of the prison is challenged.

    But one of the inmates has a secret and in order for the prison to be brought down once and for all, Kyle must step into the ring one last time.

    I got to say I was really impressed with this. This was the first Van Damme prison movie I’ve seen since Death Warrant and, frankly, had a blast watching it. This flick has a strong story and isn’t your usual fair of Van Damme merely fighting and winning the “big one” at the end. Instead, it’s the story of one man’s journey to do what’s right inside prison walls and learning when it’s time to walk away.

    As for the fighting, though, yeah, much more realistic than other JCVD flicks. Lots more wrestling, arm holds, close toe-to-toe stuff, and, dare I say, didn’t have a single patented Van Damme 360-kick in it. The matches were also pretty much 50-50 in terms of blows exchanged, instead of Van Damme winning all the fights until the final guy, then gets his butt beat for ten minutes, before having a big comeback where he dominates and wins (with that 360-kick). The fights in this flick were more blow-for-blow, with one guy winning after the other guy gets knocked out.

    I really enjoyed this, so if you’re in a JCVD mood but also want a good story that sucks you in from the start, In Hell is the way to go.

    Recommended.


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  • Up and Running on Instagram

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

    After a bit of thought, I decided to open an Instagram account, which you can access here or via the camera icon on the right.

    Photography’s an interesting medium and one that, if used correctly, is fun to follow and learn from.

    Currently, my plan for my feed will consist of writing-related items, book stuff, comic stuff and perhaps some pop culture items.

    Already got one pic up as a test.

    Hope you follow along.

    Cheers.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #128: 2012 (2009)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    2012
    Written by Roland Emmerich and Harald Kloser
    Directed by Roland Emmerich
    Runtime 158 min.
    4.5 out of 5

    The Mayans warned us thousands of years ago that 2012 would mark the end of the world as we know it.

    They were right.

    We just didn’t listen.

    Jackson Curtis (John Cusack), separated dad and small-time novelist, goes for the ride of his life when him and his family are caught up in the end of the world in the year 2012.

    Dr. Satnam Tsurutani (Jimi Mistry) stumbled onto the truth of what was really happening to the Earth back in 2009. He showed his friend and colleague Adrian Helmsley (Chiwetel Ejiofor), who in turn told Carl Anheuser (Oliver Platt), who in turn told the President (Danny Glover). Plans were made. Research done. Even some advancements were made . . . but all for naught.

    Catching wind from lunatic conspiracy theorist and radio broadcaster Charlie Frost (Woody Harrelson) that all the rich folks in the world plus those who would create the perfect gene pool were to be held up in a series of arks ’til the disasters ran their course, Jackson Curtis takes his family on an adventure to head them off and get onboard themselves.

    Disaster after gigantic natural disaster ensues and the Curtis family narrowly escapes with their lives, that is, until they find the arks somewhere in China and learn that the powers that be have other plans in mind for humanity’s survival.

    If there was any one word that I would use to describe this film, it would be “big.” Actually, not just “big,” but “BIG!!!!” HUGE! COLLASSAL! GIGANTIC and UTTERLY MASSIVE!

    At the time of this review, this movie is still in the theatre. It definitely is a must-see-at-the-theatre movie. You need that big screen and surround sound to do it justice.

    Everything is big scale in this one: the collapsing buildings, the giant earthquakes, the mountains crumbling, land folding over itself and falling a zillion feet to the Earth’s core, the tsunamis, the dust clouds—the list is endless, and everything is done HUGE. The whole time I was just sitting there with my mouth hanging open going, “Whoa . . . whoa . . .”

    Sure, there are a few convenient plot devices and a few impossible odds are overcome, but I went into this thing expecting a popcorn blockbuster with over-the-top special effects and that is exactly what I got. I left the theatre with a huge smile on my face.

    Though I personally don’t buy into the world ending in 2012, this is still one worth seeing.

    Go see it. You’ll love it. Good times for all.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #127: Flight of the Living Dead (2007)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Flight of the Living Dead (2007)
    Written by Sidney Iwanter, Mark Onspaugh and Scott Thomas
    Directed by Scott Thomas
    Runtime 94 min.
    4 out of 5

    A team of scientists creates a virus that kills the victim then regenerates the body. The idea: sell it as a biological weapon. The plan: one of the scientists is infected so is transported via plane in a special container under armed guard. Not that they think the scientist within is a threat, just that they don’t want anyone stealing the container.

    The plane encounters a severe thunderstorm and is rocked all over the place. Sure enough, the container is no longer secure and the person within is brought back to life. First goes the guard . . . then goes everyone else.

    Also on board—in coach—is a cop named Truman Burrows (David Chisum) and a criminal, Frank (Kevin J. O’Connor), being transported for trial. Soon these two must set aside their differences if they are to survive this doomed flight.

    Outbreak on a plane? You bet.

    Big trouble? You better believe it.

    The premise for this movie is just plain cool: zombies on a plane (sounds familiar, don’t it?). Good stuff. My question going into this was: okay, you got a plane full of zombies, but only so much room. How can you fill a whole movie without people getting slaughtered inside of fifteen minutes? Sure enough, the writers thought of that and managed to at first slowly let the zombies rise then, due to the large plane and various compartments therein, give our main band of heroes some room to run around and not get eaten.

    The zombies were scary, especially their eyes. Really good makeup. There was plenty of action and enough blood and guts to make any horror fan happy.

    The only thing I thought was kind of weak was the pilot’s insistence on not setting the plane down once the undead outbreak occurred. Can’t you land on more than just a long stretch of road? How about a field? Even a water landing? Better to take a chance with those than watch your passengers get eaten.

    This is one of those B-movies that make you happy you love B-movies, you know? There’s a sense of B-horror pride with this one. Hard to place it, but it’s there. More than once I was going, “Oh man, this is so good!” Maybe it’s the acting. Maybe it’s the grade of the film. Maybe the effects. I don’t know . . . but it’s good.

    Fun flick. Check it out.

    I’m glad I added Flight of the Living Dead to my collection.

    And on a personal note, I had the privilege of publishing one of the co-writers of this movie, Mark Onspaugh, in my science-gone-wrong zombie anthology, Dead Science. His story is called “The Decay of Unknown Particles.” Cool.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #126: Ninja Assassin (2009)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Ninja Assassin (2009)
    Written by Matthew Sand and J. Michael Straczynski
    Directed by James McTeigue
    Runtime 99 min.
    5 out of 5

    Raizo (played by Rain), an orphan, was taken to a secret ninja training camp run by the Ozunu Clan when he was just a boy. After years of harsh, even deadly, training, Raizo was brought up to be the greatest ninja of the clan, even one who would one day take it over as leader.

    While a child and through his growing-up years, he befriends Kiriko (Anna Sawai) and she is just as strong-willed as he is except where he lacks feeling, she has a heart and doesn’t agree with all the clan teaches. When Kiriko tries to escape, Raizo sees what it truly means to be a member of the Ozunu Clan and from then on follows his own path to take the clan down.

    Enlisting the help of a Europol agent, Mika Coretti (Naomie Harris), together they try and bring the clan to justice. However, not is all what it seems and the Ozunu Clan has plans of their own. Led by Raizo’s brother, Takeshi (Rick Yune), the two are hunted, and only after the swords stop slicing and the blood cools will a victor be decided.

    This movie is hardcore, man. There’s really no other word for it. Total and utter blood-soaked craziness that reminded me of Mortal Kombat (the game). I was just waiting for a low, ominous voice to say “Fatality.” Awesome.

    The kung fu in this flick is intense, especially the swordplay. Those bladed fights were among some of the best I’ve seen, right up there with the stuff in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon. Rain looked brilliant, his body and demeanor as hard as steel. More than once was I reminded of Bruce Lee in Enter the Dragon with the way he moved. The flashback sequences also worked well and really added to Raizo’s back story and firmly cemented us in his psyche so we know why he fights the way he does, why he’s on the path he’s on, and what motivates him as a ninja. Well done.

    What I especially liked in this movie was the ninjas’ mystique and their power, namely the part about them being one with the shadows and the paranoia those being hunted had with the dark. The idea of always keeping the lights on and bright was a great way to play this up. The ninja-morphing with the shadows was also cool, giving the impression that these guys, after all that training, have become something more than human.

    This is just one crazy bloodbath of a movie. Non-stop action. Amazing sword battles. Cool enough story to string one fight scene to the next.

    Ninja Assassin is the definition of a martial arts flick.

    Yeah, go check it out. Definitely.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #125: JCVD (2008)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    JCVD (2008)
    Written by Mabrouk El Mechri, Frédéric Benudis and Christophe Turpin
    Directed by Mabrouk El Mechri
    Runtime 97 min.
    4.5 out of 5

    Jean-Claude Van Damme—international movie star.

    Jean-Claude Van Damme—the Muscles from Brussels.

    Jean-Claude Van Damme—loved by millions

    Jean-Claude Van Damme—criminal?

    It’s a post office hostage situation and Van Damme is suspected to be the guy running the show. He talks to the cops, tells them what he wants, is alone inside with the hostages—he’s got guilty written all over him.

    Except not all is what it seems and Van Damme—hero to all—is having the worst day of his life. Not only did he lose custody of his daughter, he’s broke, has no new movie on the horizon and now he’s getting framed taking a post office with a built-in bank hostage.

    I just finished watching this and I’m still soaking it in. I’ve seen most of Van Damme’s movies and JCVD is nothing like any of them. This isn’t an action movie despite it starting that way. This is a drama. Big time, and Van Damme proves here he is way more than just muscles, high kicks, and guns. This Van Damme is raw, brutally honest, caring and just downright human. No eight-foot-tall-and-bullet-proof karate guy here. This is the story about Van Damme the man (he goes by his own name in the movie), one with heart, potent emotion and a performance that should have been nominated for an Oscar. Seriously.

    Van Damme’s not listed in the movie’s writing credits, but there’s a point in the movie where he talks to the camera about life, Hollywood, the ups and downs and simply apologizes for the mistakes he’s made in real life to those he knows and to those, like us, he doesn’t. Just phenomenal.

    My only little thing was the story seemed to move slowly in parts, but, hey, that could just be me.

    And the ending . . . man, it was just perfect. I really liked how they presented it, especially the climatic scene between Van Damme and the bad guys. To go any other way would have completely ruined the movie, but this was handled nicely. Good on them.

    The sepia coloring used throughout the film added a wonderful grittiness to it, enhancing the drama and its foreign and rustic atmosphere.

    This is a Van Damme movie you’ve never seen before. This is a Van Damme you’ve never seen before.

    You need to see this.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #124: Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Night of the Living Dead 3D (2006)
    Written by Robert Valding
    Directed by Jeff Broadstreet
    Runtime 80 min.
    3 out of 5

    I found out about this flick via the movie-on-demand feature from my cable provider. I watched the trailer, loved the zombies, then vowed that one night soon after my wife and kids went to bed, I’d indulge in a world of darkness and gore while hiding out in an old farmhouse.

    The problem was: I got busy, so when I finally got around to my late-night television watching, I was too tired to watch a full movie and since the on-demand rental would only be for 24 hours, there wouldn’t be any other time to watch this flick other than, well, right when I rented it.

    So the suspense built. One day turned to two. Two to four. Four to eight, ’til eventually a few weeks passed, me all the while unable to stop thinking about this film. Then . . . finally—finally—I was able to watch this thing. The only problem was it was an over-the-cables rental so no 3D for me. Oh well.

    I loved how it started out like the original Night of the Living Dead (that was 1968, for those who don’t know). The opening scene in the cemetery immediately brought back memories of the original and the same kind of eeriness. Then the zombies showed up; I was all giggles and my inner undead fanboy was a happy camper.

    Right then I knew I was in for a good time. And I had a good time. The zombie scenes were great. The dead were just plain gross, each in various states of decay. The blood was plentiful and Sid Haig as Gerald Tovar Jr. did a great job of being that creepy, hick kind of guy that would bother anyone. And I gotta tell you, I didn’t see the twist in the storyline coming. I won’t spoil it, but those who’ve seen this movie know what I’m talking about.

    This movie is one of those great-yet-not flicks. You love it because it’s all blood and guts, zombies and definitely a B-movie. You have a problem with it because the story is kind of “meh” and the acting is all right. At the same time you can’t stop thinking about it afterward because—since it’s a remake—it brings back gushy memories of the original (and in this case the original and the 1990 remake), but at the same time you wonder how it got off the rails so badly.

    That said, I’m giving it a split rating, the idea here being you can go either way on this, but at the very least be in for a good time, especially if you dig B-horror.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #123: Land of the Dead (2005)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Land of the Dead (2005)
    Written by George A. Romero
    Directed by George A. Romero
    Runtime 93 min.
    3 out of 5

    One day, they rose.
    The next, the world fell.
    Now, humanity barely survives.
    And the undead have gotten smarter.

    Zombies abound in this recent blockbuster by George A. Romero and, as always, the man who invented the zombie genre shows us he still has what it takes to turn out a good flick.

    Simon Baker does a great job playing the hard-edged-yet-soft-hearted hero, while John Leguizamo steals the show as a kind of crooked hero-turned-bad guy.

    What I enjoyed about this flick was the idea of a walled-in society, a city-turned-world of its own, with its own hierarchy, running down from rich to poor. I suppose that even if the dead walked the earth, we’d still have the same problems we have today with the rich getting richer and the poor poorer.

    Blood and guts fill the screen of this feature: graphic, wet and sloppy. There’s no shortage of stomach-turning moments here.

    I liked the idea of some of the zombies getting smarter instead of just roaming around looking for folks to eat, and the idea of them trying to regain their former humanity was well done. However, the “human-hearted” zombies also made the creatures feel a bit too human, for my taste, and the undead lost their edge as a result.

    The story was simple, but fun.

    Not a bad effort, this one.


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  • The Dance of Mervo and Father Clown: A Clown Horror Novelette

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

    The Dance of Mervo and Father Clown: A Clown Horror Novelette

    The Dance of Mervo and Father Clown: A Clown Horror Novelette

    After the divorce, all Jackson wanted was to spend the weekend with his father.

    He just didn’t count on his dad pushing him to go into the haunted house at the carnival.

    Soon, Jackson is immersed in a colorful world of white paint, floppy shoes, rainbow overalls and . . . blood, all ruled by the psychotic Father Clown.

    And there’s no escape. Not from under this big top.

    Welcome to twisted clown horror.

    Available as a paperback at:

    Amazon.com
    Amazon.ca
    Amazon.co.uk
    Barnes and Noble

    Available as an eBook at:

    Amazon Kindle
    Drivethru Fiction
    Smashwords

    For more horror titles, please visit the Book and Comic Shop.


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  • Canister X Movie Review #122: Final Destination 2 (2003)

    Posted on by A.P. Fuchs

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    Final Destination 2 (2003)
    Written by J. Mackye Gruber and Eric Bress
    Directed by David R. Ellis
    Runtime 90 min.
    4 out of 5

    After Kimberly Corman (A.J. Cook) has a premonition about a massive series of car accidents on the highway she and her friends are on, she pulls her car over. A cop, Thomas Burke (Michael Landes), comes up to her and asks why she’s blocking traffic. She says there’s going to be a huge accident and, sure enough, events begin to unfold on Highway 180 . . . but without them in it unlike in her vision. The cop goes to alert other emergency personnel. An oncoming truck heads right for Kim’s car. Kim escapes but her friends are killed. Yet others—who had died in the multiple wrecks in Kim’s vision—also survive.

    Soon, the survivors are all together. Except one by one Death comes for them, making things as they should be, restoring order and bringing his agenda of who dies and when back under his control.

    To try and stop the cycle before it’s too late, Kim seeks out a survivor from the first movie—Clear Rivers (Ali Larter)—and Clear takes command, explaining why people are dying and how to save themselves.

    If they believe her.

    Shock, gore and suspense are what this movie is all about.

    I got to tell you, this movie had me biting my nails all the way through. After the *ahem* blood settled and we knew who the major players were, I was gripping my seat because very quickly they slowly begin to die. And not just, oh, they die slowly—but in that step-by-step, cause-and-effect way that is the Final Destination franchise’s hallmark. These movies are very much about the Butterfly Effect, and the way the tension is created as you wait for someone to be a goner is pure gold.

    I loved the creative ways folks died in the movie. No clear-cut, bang-you’re-dead stuff here. Just pure strange ways of checking out. The most creative, I thought, was when that kid got squished by a falling sheet of glass. Didn’t see that coming, and the way he folded in half is burned in my memory. Likewise when the barb-wired fence dices Rory (Jonathan Cherry) into pieces. Who comes up with this stuff?

    The only thing that got under my skin was Clear’s constantly talking about “Death’s design.” Okay. We get it. He has a design. Move on. I don’t need to hear you using that phrase a thousand times in the movie.

    This flick has a permanent place in my DVD collection.

    Recommended.


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