• Canister X Review #67: Iron Monkey (1993/2001)

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    Review by A.P. Fuchs
    4 out of 5

    Like Robin Hood, the Iron Monkey robs from the rich and gives to the poor, but instead of wielding a bow and arrow and sword, he wears a mask and uses martial arts weapons instead.

    By day, Chinese doctor Yang Tianchun (Rongguang Yu) is a physician caring for the poor and rich alike, but at night he’s the Iron Monkey, a high-kicking do-gooder assisting those in need who are suffering beneath the rule of the corrupt governor.

    Meanwhile, Wong Kei-Ying (Donnie Yen) and his son Wong Fei-hong (Sze-Man Tsang) come into town. Soon after, Wong Kei-Ying is captured on suspicion of being the Iron Monkey after being observed in battle. His son is arrested as well. In an effort to clear himself, he offers to capture the real Iron Monkey, his son being forced to remain in prison to ensure his compliance.

    Soon Wong Kei-Ying and the Iron Monkey meet and, after going toe-to-toe with no victor, form an alliance that will rescue Wong Fei-hong from prison and bring down the evil governor once and for all.

    This movie kicks some serious wa-hoo-hoo and I’m not just saying that because of the awesome kung fu sequences, but because of it’s fun presentation of a classic story—Robin Hood—through the lens of Chinese culture, martial arts and fast-paced action.

    Quentin Tarantino brought the flick over to the West and I’m glad he did. I’m 99% sure I went to the theatre to check this gem out and it soon got a place in my DVD collection once it hit store shelves.

    What can I say? The fight sequences are over-the-top—wire acts, crazy fast kicks—but those are what make kung fu movies great and give the fight performances that supernatural feel that can’t be obtained otherwise.

    The superhero fan part of me had never seen a kung fu superhero movie, and when I compare it to the Western version of martial arts techniques that we get in our own superhero flicks, sadly, we come up short every time. I mean, this crazy, fast-paced over-the-top form of fighting is one of the main reasons The Matrix became so popular.

    There is lots that goes on in this movie story-wise, everything from the simple rob-from-the-rich-to-feed-the-poor angle to Wong Kei-Ying’s tense relationship with his son, to commentary on oppression and what’s fair and what isn’t, to comedic moments, tear-jerking moments, to adrenaline-fueled action—it’s a full experience, something that Quentin Tarantino said in an interview on the DVD that is common in Chinese cinema but not really over here in the West. I think we need to learn a thing or two about moviemaking from our Chinese friends instead of compartmentalizing everything into genres and niches.

    If you love folk heroes like Robin Hood, or are a superhero fan, Iron Monkey should definitely be on your watch list.

  • Canister X Review #66: Green Lantern (2011)

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    Review by A.P. Fuchs
    3.5 out of 5

    When dying alien and Green Lantern Abin Sur is discovered by brash and cocky fighter pilot Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds), Hal’s life is suddenly changed when the mysterious alien gives him a green power ring and matching lantern with vague instructions to “speak the oath.”

    After finally unlocking the lantern, Hal is taken to the planet Oa where he learns he has become Abin Sur’s successor in the Green Lantern Corps and is also the first human to ever bear the powerful mantle of a Green Lantern.

    As part of his training, Hal is taken under the wing of a powerful Lantern named Sinestro (Mark Strong) whose view of right and wrong is sheer black and white, and who has no trouble enforcing the law with lethal force. Turns out Sinestro wasn’t the first to feel this way as long ago one of the creators of the lantern rings—the Guardians of Oa—disagreed with the Oan Council and set off on his own, discovering a new power, this one the yellow power of fear. Now the super powered being Parallax, this former Guardian wishes to take revenge on those who banished him.

    As Hal learns what it means to set aside his own pride and ego and live by the sacred Green Lantern oath–In brightest day, in blackest night, no evil shall escape my sight. Let those who worship evil’s might, beware my power, Green Lantern’s Light!–he must come to grips with his newfound power and expel Parallax’s presence from the universe once and for all.

    After the crazy success of Batman Begins and The Dark Knight, Warner Brothers and DC Comics were in big need of another hit after Superman Returns failed to deliver at the box office, and so they went to another DC hero: Green Lantern. Good choice. He’s a kind of Superman/Batman hybrid in that Hal Jordan is human and has the qualities and struggles thereof like Bruce Wayne, and yet by wielding his power ring, his superpowers get up there right alongside the Last Son of Krypton in many ways. Whether this was Warners’ reasoning or not, I don’t know—probably not—but GL was certainly a good character to try and take to the big screen especially since it had never been done before.

    In a nutshell, the movie wasn’t bad. I liked it. It didn’t change my life, but it’s not the piece of garbage many folks make it out to be. It covered Hal Jordan’s transformation into Green Lantern, delivered awesome effects, created a sense of atmosphere both about the Green Lantern Corp and Oa, and came through on telling a simple story that got Hal Jordan from Point A to B in a reasonable amount of time.

    People complained there wasn’t enough action or not enough stuff on Oa—but those kinds of things are—and weren’t—supposed to be the focus of this movie. It was about getting the ring into Hal’s hands and teaching him the ol’ Uncle Ben motto of “With great power comes great responsibility.”

    I like how it took time to get Hal used to using the ring and it wasn’t a case of him putting it on and suddenly becoming an expert on creating green light constructs. And once he figured it out, I enjoyed how his constructs were simple—the racetrack, machine guns, etc.—as opposed to something crazy or way too technical. Why? Put yourself in his shoes. You’d probably construct something you’re more comfortable with than trying to create some big complicated airship stocked with robot soldiers with a zillion weapons and stuff.

    The love story between Hal and Carol Ferris (Blake Lively) seemed forced though it did provide a nice bridge between the realm of Oa and Earth. Clearly this relationship was introduced for sequel purposes because those who know the comics know Carol Ferris becomes the supervillain Star Sapphire down the line.

    I think in the end, Green Lantern did its job. Could it have been better? Sure. Could it have been worse? Yup.

    Regardless, I like popping this movie into the player from time to time, and if you’re a superhero fan, you should, too.

  • Canister X Review #65: Captain America: The First Avenger (2011)

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    Review by A.P. Fuchs
    4 out of 5

    It’s World War II and the US Army needs to up its game in its war against the villainous Nazis under the command of Adolf Hitler.

    Enter Steve Rogers (Chris Evans), a little guy from Brooklyn with all sorts of health problems, but who has possibly the strongest sense of morals and courage than any man on the front line. Unfortunately, due to his fragility, Steve is not allowed to join the American army despite multiple tries. A scientist experimenting in a super soldier serum for the US army notices this and offers him a chance to take part in a dangerous procedure that, if it goes well, will grant Steve superhuman-like abilities and enable him to be an ultimate man, athlete and warrior. Steve accepts and transforms into the world’s first super soldier: Captain America.

    Meanwhile, the first test subject of the serum, Johann Schmidt–aka the Red Skull (Hugo Weaving)–has come into possession of the Tesseract cube, a powerful energy source rumored to be from Asgard. His plan? Nothing less than overthrowing Hitler himself and taking over the world.

    If only we had a super soldier to stop him. Wait . . . we do.

    His name is Captain America.

    Like all good fanboys, I saw this movie in the theatre. Having grown up on the cheesy Captain America movies starring Reb Brown and, later, the 1990 version with Matt Salinger, a part of me, I admit, was waiting for a repeat of the 1990 film (in the general sense). I was more interested in how Captain America: The First Avenger would tie into the then upcoming Avengers and this movie didn’t disappoint.

    The introduction of the Tesseract–which would be key in Avengers–was real smart on the filmmakers’ part because not only did it point to the forthcoming ensemble film, but also gave a quick link to the Thor movie as well.
    Watching Chris Evans as Steve Rogers was fantastic. He really suits the role and played it perfectly. I wasn’t sure how the once Human Torch–all witty and sarcastic–would fare as the famous super soldier, and I’m glad Chris Evans proved he can play a kind of Superman-like character as well. Seeing him play both the small, frail Steve Rogers (facially, anyway, as someone else’s body was used), to playing the suped-up Steve made the film truly a story about how our greatest power lies within as opposed to externally.
    Likewise, Hugo Weaving as Red Skull did a great job, especially since playing villains is no strange task to Weaving (Agent Smith, anyone?). Even with the German haircut he looked different never mind later when his red skull visage was revealed.
    The story was simple and, like the first Spider-Man movie, I left the theatre underwhelmed. After seeing it a second time, I saw it for what it was and really enjoyed it. Unfortunately, the end battle was anti-climatic. It didn’t need to be an all-out brawl between Cap and Red Skull, but it felt brief considering these two are the heads and tails of the same coin. Some sort of super soldier/titan clash would have punched up the ending. Speaking of which, the ending of this movie has one of the best last lines to a flick ever. It was the kind of line I try to end my own novels on, one that finishes the tale but also has a punch to it.
    As far as superhero stories go, the World War II setting gave the genre a breath of fresh air movie-wise as, thus, far, pretty much every super flick to come out recently is all set in the modern day. Alternate times and/or worlds with a superhero figure are few and far between. The Spirit is the only one that comes to mind in this regard.
    After this movie and Avengers, I’m excited to see Captain America: Winter Soldier, which is presently set for 2014.

  • Canister X Review #64: The Avengers (2012)

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    Review by A.P. Fuchs

    4 out of 5

    When Thor’s mischievous brother, Loki, makes a deal with the alien race Chitauri to help them secure the Tesseract Cube so they can conquer the galaxy, the Earth suddenly falls into great peril. With even the powerful top secret agency S.H.I.E.L.D. having difficulty containing Loki, there is only one call S.H.I.E.L.D. Director Nick Fury can make: Avengers Assemble!

    The team is gathered–Captain America, Iron Man, Thor, Hulk, Black Widow, Hawkeye–set out to do battle with Loki and his alien cohorts. If they don’t overcome their differences and learn to work together as a team, the Earth will fall and Loki will rule the planet.

    The Avengers brings together Earth’s mightiest heroes to combat a force of evil so great they either stand together or fall together, with the fate of the planet–even the galaxy–hanging in the balance.

    The Avengers is a difficult movie to review, more so, give a proper rating to because this movie is very much black and white between its story and its presentation, so that said, I’m going to quickly go over both and you’ll see where I’m coming from at the end.

    The story: This is a single-plot movie, very much an A-to-B narrative and incredibly simple—too simple. Aliens are coming, we need to stop them so we’ll get the Avengers to do it. That’s it. From a storytelling perspective, it’s too simple and too predictable. Big bad guy, big good guy(s), let’s fight, good guys win. The end.

    However, if you view The Avengers as an end cap/final act to all the movies leading up to it: Iron Man, Incredible Hulk, Iron Man II, Thor, Captain America–then you have something that definitely serves its purpose and more or less let’s each character shine for the same amount of time. In this case, a simple story works despite, um, the many continuity flaws from the previous movies (i.e. Thor somehow now able to come to Earth, which renders the ending of Thor’s movie moot, Tony Stark called upon to be Iron Man in the Avengers despite being banned from doing so in Iron Man II, the characters communicating to each other without earpieces or any communication devices. Maybe they’re telepathic?).

    The presentation: This movie is a nerd’s dream come true from start to finish. Assemble your favorite superheroes–of which each were spotlighted in their own movies, almost–put them together and have them go toe-to-toe with a larger-than-life threat that will squash the planet if they don’t come through.

    From an eye candy perspective, this movie nailed it. Huge battles, lots of explosions, combat action, hammer throwing, Hulk smashing, shield boomeranging, repulsors firing, arrows shooting, girl fists punching—yeah, it has it all.

    It’s also very important to point out that the casting of Mark Ruffalo as Bruce Banner/Hulk was an amazing choice. I honestly wasn’t too thrilled with the news when I first heard it, with Ruffalo being more a chick-flick romance guy, but he got the role done so well that if there’s a spin-off, I hope he gets the job. He’s definitely earned it.

    Chris Evans as Captain America–a Superman performance, which is good and brought a traditional superhero element to the team. As the running joke was throughout the movie, a little “old-fashioned” was what was needed.

    Robert Downey Jr. as Iron Man–do I really need to talk about this? He’s the same Tony Stark from the first two movies, the only difference being he’s mellowed out a bit because, despite his arrogance, he understands life isn’t all about him and there’s other people out there, too. This bit really comes through in this movie.

    Chris Helmsworth as Thor–bold, poetic, commanding, everything his character is supposed to be so kudos to him for carrying on with a great performance from the stand-alone movie.

    Jeremy Renner as Hawkeye–I don’t know much about the comic character other than he’s like Green Arrow, but perhaps with a more military-mind-set, so I can’t comment. Renner did sell me on Hawkeye though, but why couldn’t they give him that awesome mask? Maybe in the sequel.

    Scarlett Johansson as Black Widow–she really comes into her own in this flick because in Iron Man II, it was more a back-up appearance so we didn’t know much about her. I’m glad she got the screen time she deserved and, come on, her fight scenes were fantastic.

    Tom Hiddleston as Loki—he’s the bad guy you love to hate, the one that, even just looking at him, you want to punch in the face. I appreciated how Loki, to a degree, was a villain to sympathize with because of his exile, but you also get mad at him for being such a jerk about it.

    Samuel L. Jackson as Nick Fury–an excellent portrayal of Samuel L. Jackson being Samuel L. Jasckon–but under a fictitious alias. Yeah.

    The Avengers is a solid good-times-turn-your-brain-off-action-fest that is great for escape and is recommended for that reason. As a spoiler warning, if you want just the action parts, start the movie around 30 minutes in.

    Honest assessment is 3.5 out of 5, but because it’s the first movie of its kind and because of all the building up to it that has been going on since 2008, I’ll give it a 4.

  • Canister X Review #63: The Dark Knight Rises (2012)

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    The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
    Review by A.P. Fuchs

    5 out of 5

    It has been eight years since the Batman took the wrap for the murder of District Attorney Harvey Dent. Eight years since the last time the Dark Knight was spotted in Gotham. The streets are safe, the police are receiving praise for doing a good job–except Commissioner James Gordon knows it’s all based on a lie. About to come clean of what really happened that fateful night, Gotham is suddenly thrown into chaos at the hands of a mastermind, muscle-loaded criminal named Bane. With the city about to fall, the Batman must return to restore order to his beloved city otherwise it will fall into the hands of a sadistic genius bent on its destruction. To complicate matters, a mysterious female cat burglar is working out an agenda of her own and her endgame is tied into the legacy of Bruce Wayne.

    Will Batman rise from the shadows to defeat evil once more, or has he had his day and should have stayed in the dark?

    Saw the midnight screening of this gem before it hit theatres all over the world. This movie is epic on a scale that is hard to fit into a simple review, especially since I don’t want to give away any key plot points and/or spoilers.

    The Dark Knight Rises picks up immediately after The Dark Knight storyline-wise, and eight years later in movie-time. Running throughout the whole flick are threads from Batman Begins and Dark Knight, plotlines that reach their ultimate climax in what I have to say is one of the best endings to a trilogy I’ve ever seen. It’s on par with, third-movie-wise, Return of the Jedi and Return of the King. All comes to a head as we’re led down a deep tunnel into who Bruce Wayne (Christian Bale) truly is and what being Batman has done to him. Glimpses of his scarred psyche were hinted at in the previous two movies, but really get hit home in an emotional and powerful way throughout this final installment.

    Batman himself also shines as he gets to show off his physical skill against a villain that can truly stand toe-to-toe with him, something we never saw in the previous two films. The battle with Bane (Tom Hardy) is realistic, strongly-delivered, and one where this reviewer felt the punches thrown as if it was happening to him. Yeah, it was that good of a fight.

    The other Bat-flicks struggled with having two villains in the same movie. To be honest, I never thought I’d see the day where a superhero movie would have more than one villain and be just as good of a movie as if it had just one. Anne Hathaway’s Catwoman is the best rendition of the character I’ve seen on screen, both in movies and on TV. She had to play multiple roles given her identity as a thief and work her deception in such a way that a lot of the time we weren’t sure who’s side she was on. I’m an Anne Hathaway fan, but this movie easily contains her best career performance to date.

    Bane was a crazy good villain, a kind of cross between Joker–intelligence-wise–and Ra’s Al Ghul–combat-wise–of the previous two movies. Especially since most of his face was covered with a mask throughout the whole flick, Tom Hardy had to act with his eyes in such a way as to deliver a performance as if he wasn’t wearing a mask at all. It was something he did in spades. Bane was one of those on-screen villains that you were afraid of because he’s that smart and that powerful and that sadistic.

    Gary Oldman did an amazing job, as usual, as Jim Gordon, and Sir Michael Caine nailed it once again as Alfred. In fact, I’d be shocked if Sir Michael didn’t get an Oscar nomination for his emotional portrayal of a hard-headed vigilante’s butler.

    It’d be so easy to give away several key plot points in this review, but I’m keeping it vague on purpose because you simply need to see this movie for yourself. You might think you have it figured out, but you’d be wrong, my friend.

    All dangling story threads from the previous two movies are resolved, the SFX did its job but the movie didn’t rely on it, and The Dark Knight Rises had one of the best movie endings in history, to me, one equal to the incredibly-satisfying ending of The Shawshank Redemption.

    Hats off to director Christopher Nolan and crew for the amazing stories and respect they delivered to Bat-fans everywhere throughout the entire Dark Knight Trilogy.

    Good watch Batman. You must return to Gotham.

    You must.

    Recommended.

  • Canister X Review #62: In Hell (2003)

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    In Hell (2003)
    Review by A.P. Fuchs
    4 out of 5

    Kyle’s (Jean Claude Van Damme) wife is murdered and, though the culprit is caught, when the case goes to trial, there’s not enough evidence to convict him. Taking matters into his own hands, Kyle kills the man himself right after and is sentenced to life in Krava prison in Russia. Once there, Kyle discovers the crooked warden hosts fighting battles on the grounds and bets with other wardens who bring fighters in from other prisons.

    At first content to fight, Kyle makes a name for himself as someone not be messed with, but when a close friend is killed, he decides to lower his hands and fight no longer. Following his example, the other inmates no longer fight as well, and the entire order of the prison is challenged.

    But one of the inmates has a secret and in order for the prison to be brought down once and for all, Kyle must step into the ring one last time.

    I got to say I was really impressed with this. This was the first Van Damme prison movie I’ve seen since Death Warrant and, frankly, had a blast watching it. This flick has a strong story and isn’t your usual fair of Van Damme merely fighting and winning the “big one” at the end. Instead, it’s the story of one man’s journey to do what’s right inside prison walls and learning when it’s time to walk away.

    As for the fighting, though, yeah, much more realistic than other JCVD flicks. Lots more wrestling, arm holds, close toe-to-toe stuff, and, dare I say, didn’t have a single patented Van Damme 360-kick in it. The matches were also pretty much 50-50 in terms of blows exchanged, instead of Van Damme winning all the fights until the final guy, then gets his butt beat for ten minutes, before having a big comeback where he dominates and wins (with that 360-kick). The fights in this flick were more blow-for-blow, with one guy winning after the other guy gets knocked out.

    I really enjoyed this, so if you’re in a JCVD mood but also want a good story that sucks you in from the start, In Hell is the way to go.

    Recommended.

  • Canister X Review #61: Doghouse (2009)

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    Doghouse (2009)
    Review by A.P. Fuchs
    4.5 out of 5

    A group of friends head out to the town of Moodley for a “boys only” weekend in an attempt to get away from their significant others back home and also rediscover themselves. All is well and good. Drinks are had before they left, a fun roadtrip, jokes, ribbing–but everything changes when they find the town of Moodley deserted.

    Soon it is discovered the only folks left are the women–and they have a deadly appetite for human flesh. Grotesque female monsters send the boys on the run and into a battle for survival in this throwback to classic horror.

    And that’s what really sums up this flick for me: classic horror. Prosthetic monsters, excellent makeup, and good old-fashioned blood and guts, along with a storyline that carried with it a sense of depth ala Shaun of the Dead.

    This is one of those flicks that are worth watching again because the writing is quite good, with each line feeding off the other–whether subtly or overtly–references to earlier lines/comments, objects and people. Extremely well done.

    Not only that, but the cast also had great chemistry and created a buddy-horror flick that reminded me a lot of hanging out with my friends back in the glory days of all-night partying and crude jokes (minus the cannibalistic women, of course).

    The ’80s-style soundtrack gave this flick an eerie mood that reminded me of the old Nightmare on Elm Street stuff, really setting the tone.

    Really happy with this film, and would recommend it in a hot minute.

  • Canister X Review #60: The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)

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    The Hills Have Eyes 2 (2007)
    Review by A.P. Fuchs

    4 out of 5

    A group of rookie soldiers head out to top secret government area, Sector 16, to bring supplies to a bunch of scientists who are out in the rocky desert conducting tests. When the soldiers arrive at the camp, the scientists are missing. Soon, they discover that the surrounding hills are infested with mutant cannibal killers bent on slaughtering anyone that comes their way.

    Simple story, but enough of a premise for me to enjoy this The Hills Have Eyes sequel. Sure, it wasn’t as good as the first one, but we all knew the sequel was coming given this flick’s predecessor’s ending.

    While the mutants in the first one were just plain disturbing to look at, in this one they were downright ugly. Warts, misshaped body parts, skewed eyes, drool, bad teeth–they really upped the gross factor with the makeup and prosthetics this time.

    The army-based cast of characters are stereotypical, sure, but in these types of movies–I’d almost say a “post-apocalyptic” one albeit a localized apocalypse–army characters fill a need that regular Joe Blows don’t. After all, it’s always the army that’s supposed to come to the frontlines in extreme circumstances. However–and granted I’m not a military man myself–I did find the army folks lacking in the areas of intelligence and overall combat skill. Yes, they weren’t seasoned vets, but at the same time, you’d think they’d be better trained to handle formidable foes hand-to-hand if needed be.

    The dark tunnels and caverns in this flick added a level of spookiness that regular rooms or basements can’t. No one likes being trapped in the dark even if it’s the dark of your own living room. Get trapped in a foreign location not made of wood and drywall and you got a rough terrain for anyone to endure.

    Will they make a third one? I don’t know as it’s been awhile since this installment, however this fan of the franchise wouldn’t mind another sequel, though I’d be more thrilled if it was in the vein of the first rather than the second.

    All in all, still an enjoyable late night flick, especially if you’re into mutant terror.

  • Canister X Review #59: X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009)

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    X-men Origins: Wolverine (2009)
    Review by A.P. Fuchs
    3 out of 5

    Little James was born in the 1800s, always sick. His family background . . . well, he didn’t have much of one, at least, one that cared. Except for his friend, Victor. One night, during a drunken upset with his later-to-be-found-out father, James learned he could produce bone claws from his hands and defends himself, killing his father.

    That night, James and Victor are on the run, and promise to always stick together. The years go by and the two find a great outlet for their rage: war. Victor (Liev Schreiber) also has a special ability and he is more animal than man, with claws coming out of his fingers. The two are very similar and age very slowly. War after war goes by, and the two eventually end up working with a secret team run by William Stryker (Danny Huston). While on one mission, James–now calling himself Logan (Hugh Jackman)–feels Victor has gone too far in his attack on an innocent and walks out on the group.

    Years later, the group’s been disbanded and Stryker comes to warn Logan that Victor is behind the recent string of deaths of its former members. The only way Logan will be strong enough to fight the always-stronger Victor is to undergo a special experiment of Stryker’s own design: graft the indestructible adamantium to his bones. Logan agrees.

    But there’s something Stryker hasn’t told him about what’s been going on and when Logan finds out, he’s furious and wages an all-out one-man war against Stryker, Victor and anyone else who stands in his way.

    On the action: cool fight scenes and neat concepts. However, it seemed to me Logan was a little too acrobatic and was able to survive way more and take way more pain than even a mutant with a healing ability could.

    On the story: works for me, in that we knew Logan had a history going in. He was the star of the X-Men movies after all, and X2 especially focused on Logan’s origins as much as they were able without detracting from the main story. I did like seeing what really went on and, more specifically, how Logan lost his memory. I was under the impression that he lost it because of the adamantium experiment and not after it. Doesn’t matter, but I did feel for the guy when the love of his life wasn’t all she was cracked up to be.

    On Deadpool, because, you know, it has to be covered: the whole story involving the secret ops group Logan was a part of made for fun action. Deadpool’s origin, hey, why not. To be honest, I don’t know if they followed the comics or not because I’m more a DC guy than a Marvel one and don’t know too much about Deadpool other than he’s the “merc with a mouth.” His transformation from normal-looking Wade Wilson (Ryan Reynolds) to disfigured Wade–good stuff.

    Was this a perfect movie? No, unfortunately. It felt too cartoony as opposed to carrying with it the realistic tone the other X-movies had, namely the first two.

    Will I see the sequel? Absolutely. I’m a saga guy so I want to see what happens next.

    Check this film out if you’re the superhero-movie-completist type like me.

  • Canister X Review #58: The Hills Have Eyes (2006)

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    The Hills Have Eyes (2006)
    Review by A.P. Fuchs
    4 out of 5

    The story is simple: a family’s off on a holiday and had taken a short cut through the desert to get there. In order to make the trip, they pull up to a lone gas station in the middle of nowhere to top up the tank. Problem is, the gas attendant is in on a little secret and points them to a “short cut” that’s supposed to save them a couple hours. Instead, this “short cut” leads the family on the fast track to death as a pack of bloodthirsty mutants hunt the family as their next meal.

    No, really, that’s the story. But you know what? I love it. Simple horror, straight and to the point. Here’s the good guys, here’s the bad guys, here’s the setting. Let’s see what happens. It works for me and it works for The Hills Have Eyes no problem. Unfortunately, I didn’t see the 1977 original so I can’t compare the two, but what I can tell you is the idea, as presented in the movie, of human-mutants caused by nuclear testing’s radioactivity was done well, especially since the mutations aren’t over the top but very believable (i.e. a guy with a big head; a little girl with a lopsided face; even the grossest of the bunch just seemed to have a few tumors the size of pool balls bulging under his skin).

    This movie started off with a quick action scene, then the credits rolled, and the main story got under way. Since we as the viewers knew this family was in jeopardy almost right from the start, the slow build-up leading to the explosion of danger and gore was well worth the wait. Actually, I’m glad there was a long lead up before things went crazy. Made you care and relate to the family first before things started happening to them. Made it all the more painful when they got killed.

    The one part that really got me jumping was the involvement of the baby who, it seemed, was around six months old. Being a parent, the thought of your child getting kidnapped is just terrifying. Add getting kidnapped by cannibal mutants to that and it really makes for sensitive watching. Every scene where I thought maybe something would happen to the kid, I was, like, “No, not that baby!” (What? Horror fans can’t be sensitive?)

    The 180-degree character development of our hero, Doug Bukowski (Aaron Stanford) , was impressive especially since I really didn’t like him at all in the beginning, which was the point, and which was a success on the part of the filmmakers. Truly awesome.

    The Hills Have Eyes was a fun horror movie that pleased this roadside horror fan to the nines. Going to be renting the sequel. Definitely.

    Go see this.